


Touch Deprivation

by Random_Soul



Series: Aaron Burr x Hamilsquad [9]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Aaron burr needs a hug, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cuddles, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, LITERALLY, M/M, Polyamorous Character, Polyamory, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Touch-Starved, Touchy-Feely, it's very fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:20:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23653717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Random_Soul/pseuds/Random_Soul
Summary: Aaron Burr is touch starved.
Relationships: Aaron Burr/Alexander Hamilton, Aaron Burr/Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens/Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette/Hercules Mulligan, Aaron Burr/Everyone, Aaron Burr/Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette, Aaron Burr/Hercules Mulligan, Aaron Burr/John Laurens, Alexander Hamilton/Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette, Alexander Hamilton/Hercules Mulligan, Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette/Hercules Mulligan, John Laurens/Gilbert du Motier Marquis de Lafayette, John Laurens/Hercules Mulligan
Series: Aaron Burr x Hamilsquad [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1586617
Comments: 20
Kudos: 156





	Touch Deprivation

Ring ring ring

“Hello?”

“Hello, is this Aaron Burr?”

“Yes, and may I ask who this is?”

“This is Suzy. I’m Dr. Smith’s receptionist. If it’s alright with you and your boyfriends, he wanted all of you to come in for a small meeting. Would that be okay?” Aaron begins shaking. Dr. Smith is his therapist. With everything that has happened in his childhood, Alex thought it might be helpful. Alex himself went to Dr. Smith when he graduated high school in order to help him. Now, at the age of twenty-four, Aaron was sick with being tied down by failed relationships and past mistakes. With three years of friendship with four of the most supportive and confident people and one year and a half of dating said people, he worked up enough strength to see someone for his mental health. They couldn’t have been better. But what was so bad that they needed everyone there for? Would they leave him? He would’ve left himself ages ago. Aaron takes deep breaths, reminding himself that someone was on the phone.

“Yeah, it should be fine.”

“Okay. Are they in a position in which you can quickly ask them what day works best?”

“Yeah, hold on.” Aaron walks into the dining room from his spot in the living room. Lafayette and Hercules were cooking dinner and the other three were just hanging out and talking about their day when Aaron got the call. Now, the four are sitting there and waiting for the food to cook.

“Hey, guys? Dr. Smith wants to meet with all of us and was wondering when it would work best.” John looks up.

“He does? And are you okay with that?”

“I trust him. Whatever he wants to meet about, we should probably do that.”

“If you’re sure. Part of our deal is that you don’t need to tell us anything you don’t want to.”

“I’m sure. He wouldn’t tell you anything too personal. If he needs all of us, then it concerns all of us. We should be fine.” Aaron said. Alex comes over, kissing his forehead.

“If it’s that important, then I’ll go.” Hercules rolls his eyes.

“We all are gonna go. As for the time, is everyone free tomorrow at one-thirty? My lunch break is at that time.”

“That late?”

“Fitting appointment at twelve for a groom.”

“That makes sense. Mon petit fleur, I will be there for you at that time too.”

“That works for me. The meeting to discuss the sea turtle exhibit should be done by then.” John said. Alex nods.

“Washington will let us take our lunch break later, so we should be free as well. Is that okay with you?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” Aaron puts the phone to his ear, telling the receptionist the time. After it’s scheduled, he hangs up. He pockets his phone. “Okay, it’s set. I’m gonna go on a walk real quick.”

“Dinner’s done in twenty minutes!” Hercules shouts at Aaron as he leaves. Aaron makes his way to an apartment complex across town. He climbs up to the top of the building and breathes. He used to live here before he moved in with the others three months ago. He would always come up here and tend to the small garden to calm himself down. It’s a habit he’s yet to break. Aaron pulls out some weeds and waters some of the more dying plants in attempts to revive them. A text from his phone alerts him that dinner is ready. He’s scared for tomorrow.

Aaron takes one last breath and makes his way home.  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Thank you all for coming on such short notice.”

“It’s fine. Dr. Smith, it’s nice to see you again.”

“Same for you, Alexander. Please, have a seat.” In the room that usually consists of a couch and a chair, three more folding chairs have been set near the couch. Aaron sits on the couch closest to the wall. Beside him is Lafayette. In the chair next to Laf is Alex, then John, then Hercules. Across from them sits Dr. Smith. He smiles.

“I know it must be scary to demand those closest to you to come see your therapist, Aaron, but I assure you, it’s not too bad. Well, it is… It’s confusing. I promise it’s not what you think.” Aaron relaxes. He’s told Dr. Smith quite a few things he would feel horrible letting others know about, especially when they’ve been so nice.

“Well, Doctor, what is it?” John asks. Aaron looks at him and smiles. He’s curious.

“To put it simply, Mr. Burr is touch starved.” All eyes go wide, including Aaron’s.

“I am?”

“Yes, you are. Though I prefer the word skin hungry. You crave skin to skin contact. But that seems to freak people out more than touch starved. I asked you all to come to help out with this. People who are touch starved may not always know that they are and don’t always go out of their way to help end it. With Aaron’s past the way it is, he has little to no positive human contact and so most likely wouldn’t even know where to start. They also are more likely to have depression, heightened anxiety, high levels of stress, low platonic or romantic relationship status, difficulty sleeping, and avoidance of secure attachments. People who are touch starved as a young child can sometimes experience damaged nerves, leading to weakened intimacy and social skills. That is not true for everyone, though, and Aaron seems to have good social skills. Now, I’m gonna ask for what he’s like intimately and I don’t want anything that has to do with activities related to the bedroom unless it’s snuggling or sleeping.” He eyes Alex. “Also, Aaron, if you would like to leave for this bit, you can. If you ever feel uncomfortable, just tell me.” Aaron shakes his head okay. Hercules thinks.

“Hugs. He doesn’t really know what to do with hugs. I’ve given him a hug once or twice and he awkwardly stood there. I figured he just didn’t like them.”

“Yeah, and he doesn’t really cuddle. Except when he’s asleep. Once, he fell asleep on me when we were watching a movie and he didn’t let me go. I tried to get up, but he almost started crying.” John states, remembering the event. Aaron’s face is beat red.

“He also didn’t really know how to kiss-”

“ALEX!”

“What?”

“My therapist does NOT need to know how well I can make out!”

“Actually, it is quite helpful. Children and babies are constantly kissed by parents, even if it’s just on the cheek or forehead. Not having that can damage connections. Aaron, you said you’ve had some bad past experiences where touch hasn’t always been welcomed-”

“It’s okay, Dr. Smith, you can just say I’ve been abused. They know about that.” Dr. Smith smiles.

“Just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable or, even worse, in danger. So, you’ve been abused before. Are sometimes touches now that are supposed to be innocent and friendly taken the wrong way?” Aaron’s eyes go wide as he looks at Laf. Lafayette is staring back, obviously remembering the same experience. When they were just friends, Lafayette came over to his apartment to use his kitchen. He wanted to make cookies for the others and surprise them. He asked for Aaron’s help. The recipe was one that neither had done before and it didn’t go well. Finally, Aaron figured it out and they made the cookies. In the meantime, the kitchen was a mess. Aaron looked around. His uncle used to beat him if he ever left even an indication that he was alive. Laf was more focused on the fact that they made the cookies and turned around to give Aaron a high five. Well, where his mind was and the sudden movement of an uplifted hand was not a good combination. Aaron screamed, falling on the floor and throwing his hands above his face, begging for forgiveness. Lafayette held him for thirty minutes while Aaron had his panic attack. Nobody else knows about it and they haven’t talked about it since.

“I think I’ve seen Aaron flinch once or twice when a person suddenly wants to give him a high five, oui.” Lafayette said.

“And his ability to trust?” Aaron smiles.

“What ability?”

“He’s got a point. Took him two months to agree to come to dinner with us.” Hercules points out. Dr. Smith reviews his notes.

“As suspected, you have touch deprivation. The only way to cure this is pretty much to have skin to skin contact. This doesn’t just mean sexual. Even a handshake has proven to help. Hugs, massages, kisses, it all does something. Aaron is gonna kill me, but I am also prescribing ten to fifteen minutes of cuddling before bed. This can be from one of you or all of you. Though I would like you all to participate as it will build the bond between you guys and Aaron can feel like all are trying to make it better. Speaking of sleep, try to go to sleep at the same time in the same room. Sleeping with his head on your chest will also help. Don’t look at me like that.” Dr. Smith aims the last sentence at Aaron who is making a face.

“This sounds like stuff you would tell expecting parents.”

“Oh, it is. You see because you’ve gone twenty-four years without too many human connections, we need to start at the basics. You’ve been denied the love and care of those that affect you the most. You were set up to fail at everything you do in life. Now, we need to counteract that any way we know how. It’s gonna take a while to get used to it, but it must be done. It should also help with your mental health and decrease the anxiety you have. Aaron, by all statistics you should’ve committed suicide at the age of thirteen. You already defied statistics. We’re just trying to make life easier for you.” Aaron smiles. Dr. Smith stands up. “Thank you all again for coming. Aaron, I’ll see you next Wednesday.”

“Every week.”

“Alright. And don’t forget about the cuddling.”

“Trust us, doctor, we won’t.” John smiles. They all give him a handshake and leave. As Aaron pulls out the keys, Hercules grabs them.

“Nope. You’re sitting in the back between John and Alex.” John and Alex let out a cheer.

“Really?” Hercules smiles, getting in the front. John gets in on the other side. Aaron stands with Alex.

“Aaron, you’re getting in the middle.” Alex says. Aaron rolls his eyes and slides in. John pulls him so he’s laying on his shoulder and Alex curls up at his side. Laf reaches a hand back, putting it on his knee.

“You need to relax, mon petit fleur. You feel like a piece of wood.” Aaron takes a few deep breaths, relaxing into John. John places a kiss on his forehead.

“There, you go, sweetheart. Now, let’s all run through somewhere and get back to work.”  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Anyway, so now I have to make this case for a client who is so obviously guilty that I have practically nothing to work with.”

“Calm down, this is just for a lawyer’s competition. Not like you’re actually gonna prevent a very obvious murderer from going to jail. Plus, that is all in four months and that’s the last case you need to do. Don’t you have other stuff you could work on?”

“Nope. I already did my cases.”

“What about the case reviews?”

“I have one to do, but it is so stupid. Somebody broke into another person’s property to steal their avocados.”

“Just do it. Or, you could do it tonight. That might be easier.”

“No.” 

“At least can you go to your office? Or let me sit at my desk?”

“You need skin to skin contact and the couch didn’t have enough room.” It has been about two hours since they came back from their appointment. About ten minutes after returning, Alex stormed into Aaron’s office and dragged him on the ground. They are back to back with papers spread on the floor. The group chat has also scheduled “cuddle time” and Aaron has been trying to get his boyfriends to not do it by privately messaging them and mentioning everything they should be doing instead. So far it hasn’t worked. He can’t even convince Alex to do it and that is just sad. A loud knock is heard and the door bursts open, revealing none other than Thomas Jefferson and James Madison.

“AARON COME WITH US TO GET ICE CREAM- oh it’s you.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Telling Burr to get ice cream with us. And you?”

“Working like I’m supposed to.”

“Why aren’t you in your office, then?”

“Shut up, he’s my boyfriend!”

“Well, he’s my brother!”

“Not biologically!”

“I adopted him!” Aaron shoots up, grabbing James’ arm and leaving.

“Hurry, before Alex gets me.” They speed walk until they are outside and Aaron relaxes.

“What was that about? It seemed useless and uncomfortable to sit on the floor when there was a desk right there.”

“Thank you! They won’t listen, though. My therapist called all of my boyfriends and me in and told everyone I was touch starved. They even scheduled group cuddle sessions before bed. Do you know how annoying that is?”

“Cuddling can be quite nice and calming, even in groups.”

“You’ve done it before.”

“Aaron, I’m the oldest of eleven siblings. What do you think?”

“I thought it was only nine?”

“Apparently everyone does. No idea why. I think they just lose track halfway through. As for touch deprivation, it can lead to serious mental health problems.”

“How do you know?”

“Again, eleven siblings. A few of the middle ones didn’t get enough attention and so I studied and learned to help out. Parents couldn’t give all the love.” As James spoke, he wound his arm into Aaron’s and got closer to him. Aaron doesn’t think much of it. He sighs.

“You were never touch starved?”

“When would I have had time to be touch starved? When Thomas and I got to college, we both would cuddle on the couch because of us missing our siblings. I had eleven and he had nine, making this the first time either of us has really been alone. It was nice.” The walk for another minute or two in silence. It’s nice. Just them, walking together. Nobody jumping him for random hugs and claiming that he needs contact… Wait a minute.

“YOU’RE DOING IT ON PURPOSE!” Aaron states loudly, pulling his arm away.

“What?”

“A minute or two after we started walking, you looped your arm in mine and stepped closer. I didn’t think anything of it, then I realized. You’re initiating human contact. How did I not notice.” James laughs.

“You are talking to a world-class manipulator. Remember when I was able to convince the entire company, along with Washington to accept that new deal that I and Hamilton worked on?”

“Yeah, you’re right. Let’s just get some ice cream.” James relinks his arm with Burr as they go inside. After they are done talking, James grabs an ice cream for Thomas and Aaron grabs one for Alex. They go back into Aaron’s office.

“Well, it’s not my fault that you forgot that the chickens wanted the pineapples! that’s on you!”

“But I wouldn’t have given them away if I knew the guy from Germany wanted the lizards, now would I!?!”

“What in the world are you two talking about?” Thomas and Alex whip their head over. James rolls his eyes.

“Of course you two spent twenty minutes arguing.” Aaron laughed and gave Alex his ice cream. Thomas takes his ice cream from James.

“By the way, Aaron. My sister is coming over tonight. Would you like to come over? We can play games.”

“I would love that-”

“But he can’t go.”

“Hamilton, Burr’s a grown man. He can make his own decisions.” Aaron hears James mumbled about Thomas not thinking that when Aaron wanted to date Alex. Aaron sighs.

“He’s got a point, Alex. Plus, I wanna go. It’ll be fun.”

“You’re just using that as an excuse to get out of our cuddle session, tonight.” Thomas looks between the two.

“Cuddle session? Is Aaron touch starved?”

“Is this a thing that just everybody knows about? I’ve never heard of anyone being touch starved.”

“Alex, James and Thomas each have massive families. There was a sibling or two who didn’t get that much attention and needed their help.” James nods in agreement. George Washington peaks his head in.

“Are Alex and Thomas in a room without yelling?”

“We gave them ice cream.”

“That makes sense. I have some extra papers. Would any of you be willing to do them at home, tonight?”

“My sister is coming over, James is stuck with me, and Alex and Aaron have a cuddle party with their boyfriends because Aaron has touch deprivation.” Alex pipes up.

“I could do them tomorrow.” Washington makes a face, slowly moving out of the room.

“I… don’t know what to say to that. Have fun?”

“Why are you going, James?”

“Are you kidding? Jane is amazing! I love her so much. She’s so nice and is the one who helped me help my sisters during things such as menstrual cycles. She’s, by far, my favorite Jefferson.” Alex eyes Thomas.

“Not much of a competition, is there?” Thomas punches him in the shoulder. Aaron’s phone dings, signifying a group text. He grabs it and reads it.

“Laf is picking up pizza for dinner. What do you want on it?”

“Bacon. And no pineapples.”

“Sue me for liking pineapple on my pizza. It’s not a hate crime.”

“It’s a fruit. Fruit does not belong on pizza.”

“Oh boy, wait until you hear what the sauce is made out of.”  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A few hours later, Aaron and Alex head home. John and Hercules were already there and greeted both of them with a kiss. John goes behind Aaron and hugs him.

“How was your guys’ day?”

“Aaron tried to get out of our cuddle party tonight.”

“Did he now? We should punish him with five more minutes of cuddling.” Aaron’s face slowly turns red.

“I don’t see what the big deal is. So, I’m not used to being touched. I’ve lived this long without it.” Hercules walks over, kissing Aaron’s cheek.

“This isn’t about whether or not you can survive. We want you to be happy and, if this helps, we’ll do it. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“BOUNJOR! I GOT PIZZAS!”  
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Good morning, Aaron.”

“Good morning Dr. Smith.” Aaron shakes his hand and then sits down on the couch. Dr. Smith grabs his notepad and sits down as well.

“How are we doing today?”

“Alright. Still trying to get used to all the touchy-feely my boyfriends have been doing because you told them to.”

“And how’s that working out?”

“I don’t know. I trust them and I love them but I broke down in tears the other day and I just don’t do that.”

“What triggered it?”

“They told me I was beautiful. And, well, I’m not. I said that and then they started to tell me about how amazing I am and I just snapped, I guess. I felt horrible.”

“It may be because you are unused to being shown affection and kindness, so when you are shown it for prolonged periods of time, your brain physically can’t handle it. I don’t know, though. I’m not a doctor.”

“Why yes. Yes, you are.” Dr. Smith laughed looking over his notes.

“This was also supposed to help with your anxiety and negative thoughts. Has it?”

“My self-deprecation hasn’t really gone down but me doubting whether or not people love and appreciate me has. That kind of ties into my anxiety but there were no other changes. Is that okay? Should there be more?”

“No, that’s great. Aaron, things like this take time. We’re rewiring your brain to think that human touch is a positive thing. You are doing great. Now, last time we were here I asked you a question about friendly gestures being taken as violence and you and Lafayette made eye contact. If it’s alright with you, I would like to embellish on that situation.”

“Uhm, I’ll try. We haven’t talked about it since it happened, though.”

“That’s alright. If at any moment you feel uncomfortable, just tell me. We’ll stop.”

“Okay, well. I was in my apartment and Laf wanted to use my kitchen to surprise his boyfriends with cookies…”


End file.
